It can feel challenging when we come into the seasons of parenting, when it’s time to start releasing our teenagers, our late teenagers, our early adult kids, into that place where they’re pursuing their own faith. Leaning into respecting our kids’ choices and decisions they make in their faith walks, seeing where it aligns with the things that we’ve taught them, and the experiences they’ve had in our home, because now they’re moving into a place where their faith relationship is their own. Join me this week as we unpack all of this good stuff.
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Transcription:
Guest Speaker: Julie Lyles Carr
Welcome to the Bible for Busy People, and if I sound a little different than what you’re used to, that’s because I’m Julie Lyles Carr. I am honored to be filling in for Erica while she gets a little bit of time away. I have loved when I’ve been able to come in and help in the past as part of this series, and so I’m just honored to be back. As we were discussing ideas for what we could talk about this week as our guest host, one of the things that Erica and I began to discuss is how challenging it can feel when we come into those seasons of parenting, when it’s time to start releasing our teenagers, our late teenagers, our early adult kids, into that place where they’re really pursuing their own faith. And the twists and turns that that might involve, how to navigate when our kids are making choices that don’t align with what you had hoped, and how to trust that God and his love and that God and his message are enough to draw our kids close. And we thought this would be something really interesting and heartfelt to explore this week, as we look to see what God’s word shows us about those places where it’s time to start releasing our kids into their own faith walk.
We’re going to be talking about five different seasons, if you will. That’s how I see it, because as it turns out, I’m a mom of eight kids and we now have kids who have launched into their adult lives. We have kids who are still in our home, who are in those mid to late seasons of teenagehood and going to college and all the things. So, this is an active topic at our house all the time. Wanting to respect our kids’ choices and decisions they make in their faith walks, seeing where it aligns with the things that we’ve taught them and the experiences they’ve had in our home, and also the places where we have to give a lot of freedom because they’re now moving into a place where their faith relationship is their own. We’re going to be talking about this week on the Bible for Busy People, what it means for that season of launching, letting go, the next gen, going rogue and leaving room.
So, I hope that you will join me this week as we unpack all of this. If you think that you’re going to magically launch your kids at the age of 18, think again. Launching our kids is a series of steps from the moment that they are born. There is a release that has to happen. I mean literally when it comes biologically to actually birthing them, but then in every season and in every stage of their development, we’re launching them into yet greater and greater levels of independence, in observation on our part, learning who they are and what their personalities are, and how all that’s going to work. Launching is something that we’re always in process with in our parenting. So, when we can keep in mind that our kiddos are always in the process of launching, as we launch them from being crawlers across the living room floor to them starting to walk all the way up to when they leave on their honeymoon. If we can recognize these micro moments of launching them, perhaps that helps us as well. Sometimes as parents, I think we can make the mistake of feeling like that we are the keepers of our children’s faith walks, until they leave our homes, but I don’t know that we can really justify that from scripture. Now, are we to always be talking about our relationship with God? Are we to be pointing them to the things that God says are important? Of course, but I think about Jesus as a 12 year old, and I find this really Luke two verses 41 through 51 says;
Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.
The fact that Jesus was 12 and the fact that he was beginning to say, Hey, I have relationship with God my father. That mom and dad, you may not always understand, that may take me in a direction that you haven’t experienced before. There’s something very important in this moment that I think we need to pay attention to as parents, when I talk about this idea of these micro launches. If we are the ones trying to dictate all of the aspects of our kids’ faith walk, and then somehow magically at 18 or at 21 or when we stop paying for the college tuition, all of a sudden magically they’re supposed to have their own relationship with God, that all of the sudden we just remove our hands out from underneath them… Is that really the way it’s supposed to work? This passage from Luke shows me that Jesus is expressing His own relationship, his own responsibility, his own call to ministry with God, and he’s still living under the authority of his parents and in their home. But he doesn’t let go of this important aspect of how he is going to be in his father’s house, his Heavenly Father’s house, and what this is going to mean for his future moving forward.
So, here’s the secret. All the Christianese accessories and experiences in the world don’t a launched Christian adult make, because none of that is what a relationship with God is based on. Sure, it’s great to have those kind of things. It’s great to reinforce the things you’re teaching in your home, but a relationship with God is based on exactly that. A relationship, not indoctrination, not easy answers, not systems, not swag… At some point, your kid is going to have to make the decision for themselves that they want relationship with God. Your job is to get your kid up to the line of faith. You don’t get to carry them over the line. They have to cross into that decision of themselves. And so, when it comes to looking for these moments of micro launching, I want to encourage you that for your child to have questions, for your child to be coming into their teenage years and grappling with some of the harder things that we often find about what it means to walk a life of faith, what it means to be set apart, what it means when our lifestyle may look different than the world around us. Don’t let it throw you that your kids are looking and seeking and asking. Don’t be scared of their questions, because all of that is actually part of the launch. As we continue taking a look at releasing our kids into their own faith walks, I hope you’ll join me next time where we talk about letting go. I’ll see you next time on the Bible for Busy People.
Thank you so much for listening to the Bible for Busy People. If you need prayer or you’re ready to go a little deeper in your faith, we’ve posted some resources for you in our show notes. We’d love for you to share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review. It helps us reach even more people with the hope of Jesus. This podcast is part of Purposely, a podcast network designed with practical podcasts to help you find and live in God’s purpose for your life. Find more podcasts that will recharge you at onpurposely.com.
