In the same week that Hope accepted her dream job, she also discovered the exciting news of being pregnant. Hope thought her life purpose was coming together. Fast forward to six weeks postpartum, and Hopes purpose seemed to come to a screeching halt. She had a traumatic birth experience 3, suffered from postpartum depression and walked away from the career she had worked so hard for. She felt stuck, confused and purposeless. Please enjoy this episode as Hope shares from her heart about how she learned to walk away from what was holding her back – and offers you tips on how to get unstuck as well.
Show Notes:
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Transcription:
Hope Reagan Harris:
Basically, in order to be happy, I had to take a step back to what the world said was what you’re supposed to do. And I found on the other side of taking the step backward to your point, taking the step off that ladder, that God can use a step back to actually set us up to live the abundant life that he has for us.
Sarah Taylor:
Her name is Hope Reagan Harris, and she graduated from Pepperdine University in 2017. Immediately entered the corporate world as you do, but in 2023, Hope felt God calling her into a new role, and she’s going to discuss that because it’s a pretty great one. I’m super curious about this, Hope. She’s also the author of This Is My Happy Place, as well as her latest book, Purpose Don’t Pause. So now you can see why I asked her to be a guest on the Passion Meets Purpose Podcast, which is all about the gifts and talents that the Lord has uniquely given us and then how you use those gifts and talents to give back to the world. So, Hope, welcome. Thank you for being my guest today.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Thanks so much, Sarah. I’m so excited to be here.
Sarah Taylor:
One of the things that I’ve just found to be a common thread through all of my guests is when I ask you and put you on the spot, what were you like as a child, a toddler, an elementary school student? How do you see what you’re doing now, the gifts you’re operating in? Where did those show up for you? How old were you?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my goodness. So my mom jokes now with me that when I was younger, I never slept. And now I have a one-year-old who never sleeps, and she’s like, “This is your child. She may look just like your husband, but she is your child.” And so with that being said, Sarah, it’s really funny because I truly believe that the Lord has given me very high capacity just to wear a lot of different hats and just really lean into a lot of places. And so now having that energy to just chase after all life has to offer and all God has for me really has come in handy. And I can see that kind of parlaying into me as a kid who didn’t want to take the nap because I didn’t want to miss out on anything or didn’t want to sleep because who has time for sleeping when you’re a toddler or elementary student?
And I also, as an elementary student, used to be very like… I wanted to be very organized and pick out things the night before because I didn’t think that it was really worth the time or energy the next day, and I actually still find myself doing that. So in first grade, I will actually… I don’t do this now, but I actually didn’t want to waste any time or brain power on my outfit. So I would sleep in it and then go to school in it. But now I’m like, pick my outfit out the night before because I truly believe your day for the… The next day actually starts with your routine the night before, and so I’ve been doing that since I was a kid. And I guess it was just one way of coping to be able to pour my energy into everything in front of me that I’ve brought with me into adulthood.
Sarah Taylor:
I like the disclaimer that you don’t still do that.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes. Can you imagine my clothes would be really wrinkled?
Sarah Taylor:
And so yeah, lots of energy, high capacity, and that must have carried through from elementary into high school and beyond because you have to put some work to get into Pepperdine.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes, and that’s a whole other story in itself. So I actually was a days before supposed to go to Arkansas Tech University. My parents are educators, and so there was just no way to financially afford Pepperdine for my family. And so, long story short, said to go to Arkansas Tech, had a roommate. My high school boyfriend, who is not my husband, was going to Arkansas Tech as well. And eight days before, my mom called Pepperdine and was like, “Look, we need to go ahead and take Hope’s application out. She’s just not going to be able to go.” And the admissions’ counselor literally said, “What if we told you that a numinous donors had actually given Hope enough scholarship to go full tuition?” So eight days before decide… I mean, it was only from God, right? So I decided, “Okay, I’m going to go-”
Sarah Taylor:
How? Hold on, hold on.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
How?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Crazy.
Sarah Taylor:
Do you know, in hindsight, who this anonymous donor was?
Hope Reagan Harris:
I do now. So they’re actually from the LA philanthropic group. I have actually stayed in touch with them, and they have been huge supporters just in encouraging me to chase after… Now, Purposes Don’t Pause is actually turning into a nonprofit. And so they’ve just been a huge champion in that. But I mean, Sarah, crazy story. So go to Pepperdine, and that’s really where this generosity that I’m seeing weaving through my life started.
So Pepperdine really changed it all for me. Went to Pepperdine, and then from there, I was really passionate about giving back because people had given so much to me. And so I started a clay earring company on Instagram, and that’s actually how it turned into writing books. And I was experiencing a lot of post-graduate loneliness. And so I’m like, “Okay, I’ll cultivate this community. People don’t know me from Adam, so I’ll just do a clay earring company, and maybe I can get women to come and be my friends through these earrings.” And so I gave 10% back to YouVersion, the Bible app, because I just wanted to give back.
Well, now, three years later, I just came out with my second book. I now work for YouVersion, the Bible app, and I’m sitting in the seat of product owner of Generosity. And so it’s just so crazy how God can take a full circle moment of where Pepperdine really changed it all for me where I decided, “Oh, my gosh, freely receive or freely give, freely receive.” That was written on the wall in the cafeteria. And that’s just something that’s been stamped on my heart. And then now I’m in this place where I’m not the one that is getting. I’m the one who is getting to be generous, and it’s just really, really cool.
Sarah Taylor:
So much here, so much. So-
Hope Reagan Harris:
I know. It’s crazy.
Sarah Taylor:
… let’s pick each piece and give it to me in real time. So how did you feel when you’re eight days away from moving to Arkansas Tech and everything pivots and switches? How did that feel to you?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my gosh, Sarah, it was a whirlwind. I was literally babysitting two little girls, who ended up being my flower girls later on. And my mom called, and I call it the call that changed it all because, I mean, my mom called me all the time, still does, but she was like, “Hope, you will never believe what happened.” And I just remember in that moment as she told me, being like, “I am scared out of my mind. I’ve actually never been to Pepperdine’s campus. I live like 1,581 miles away, but I know this can only be from God.” And so I was really scared. I obviously had to tell my best friend who I was going to room with, who she decided to unfollow me on all social media. And then, as I told my boyfriend at the time that I wasn’t going to be going to Arkansas Tech, he decided to break up with me. So I literally go to Pepperdine with my three suitcases in a one-way ticket and had never been to the campus. And so I just remember-
Sarah Taylor:
And no best friend and no boyfriend. The supports… No-
Hope Reagan Harris:
No best friend, no boyfriend. Gone, gone. And so it was really, really wild. And I say that to say God really taught me through those moments that sometimes with your yes, there’s also some really hard noes that come with that. And just, I think, that really taught me to be so focused on what God is calling me to that… I mean, you can say it more in layman’s terms, but, like, haters are going to hate, but you’ve just got to stay so focused on what he’s calling you to. And so I think with that experience, it’s allowed me at this point in time to be, okay, people are not always going to be running the race with me for the long haul. Enjoy them when they’re running the stint with me, but just to stay laser focused on where God is calling me, even if that is somewhere uncomfortable that I’ve never been before.”
Sarah Taylor:
When the best friend unfollowed, when the boyfriend broke up, and did you have a moment where you’re like, “Am I making the right decision just because someone’s going to pay for it?” Did you have a moment where you maybe wanted to play it safe and just do what was familiar, or did that not cross your mind?
Hope Reagan Harris:
It definitely crossed my mind, but my dad had this pivotal moment with me where I asked him, “What would you do dad?” And I think it helped having the parental backup being like, “Hope, you can do this.” But my dad literally said to me, “Hope, you need to make the decision that you will not regret when you’re 40. And now being about to hit 30 I’m like, “That’s just 10 years away”. And even now I’m like, “That literally changed my life.” But he was like, “It would be so easy at 18 for you to be like, ‘I’m not going to do that because that’s going to be really hard.’ But you’ve got to do what you’re going to be able to lay in bed at night when you’re 40, and be like, ‘I’m so glad that I don’t have to wonder what would’ve happened if I had done that.'”
So I think that moment was just pivotal, and, okay, I have my father, who’s willing to catch me if I fail. And he was like, “Hope, worst case, we withdraw you and you come back home. We have a backup.” And so I think having that conversation but then also knowing how to plan B if I did fail and that it would be okay to fail, really pushed me to just be… to go for it.
Sarah Taylor:
Does he know how much that meant to you? Does he know that was pivotal for you?
Hope Reagan Harris:
I actually wrote about it in my book, talking about how this showed me the love of the heavenly father that basically, just as my earthly father was willing to do a trust fall for me, my heavenly father and your heavenly father is too. And so I know my mom read him that chapter, and I know it meant a lot to him.
Sarah Taylor:
So you make the jump. You go to Pepperdine. You study, what?
Hope Reagan Harris:
I study public relations.
Sarah Taylor:
And you’re ready to do what? Do you think is about to happen when you go into corporate America?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my gosh. It’s funny, Sarah. So I actually chose this major in my junior year because it was the only way to graduate on time. So I automatically was like, “Okay, I know communication is key for anything.” So that was kind of how, as I was interviewing, people would be like, “So why PR?” And I was trying to make up my story. I was like, “It’s because communication is needed everywhere, and I knew if I studied that, I could bring that to any job.”
And so anyways, I actually remember being in my senior year because my parents are educators, literally not knowing what a Fortune 500 was. And it’s funny because I later on went to work for Fortune One, which is Walmart’s corporate office. And so, long story short, I did not know what I was going to be doing, Sarah. I knew that it would be on a global scale. I always wanted to do something that impacted not just the U.S., but I had studied abroad at Pepperdine in Switzerland, and I felt like, “Okay, I want to bring this global experience and do that in the real world,” but I had no clue what I was going to do.
And so, actually, I stumbled upon a job in D.C. with Gartner, so they’re kind of like a consultant-based company, best practices in technology. And my husband got a job with the government in D.C. We got married right out of college. And so I went and worked for Gartner for a year, and then I got an offer from Walmart that we just couldn’t turn down. And so I feel like God is continuously surprising me. The stuff I was doing at Walmart, my first job, was leading a team who created purchase orders, and I literally had to Google before the job, like, “What is operational procurement because I’m a PR major?”
And I remember in that interview I was leading a team of over eight people at the age of 23, okay? And this hiring manager is like, “So, Hope, have you ever led people before?” And I was like, “Well, I was an RA for 70+ students for two+ years at Pepperdine.” I mean, serious, it’s just wild. God will place you where he intends to place you, and he will use crazy experiences to qualify you. I have no idea how being an RA qualified me to lead people that were all older than me at Walmart, but it somehow did, and each step allowed me to end up going into product management, end up going into finance transformation. At the end of my time, I was over the membership program.
And so each of those steps now I see how it prepared me to step in at YouVersion, but there were definitely times there that I’m like, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t understand why you’ve placed me here, God, but I’m just going to have to show up and push through feeling uncomfortable.” I feel like he’s put me in a lot of uncomfortable places. So yeah.
Sarah Taylor:
So was the Walmart… That was your dream job that you accepted, is that correct?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes, it was. Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Okay. And so there you, are climbing the corporate ladder, and then you get some more exciting news.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes. So I found out that Will and I were expecting our first baby girl, Remy Claire, and, I mean, Sarah, it was crazy. I had always wanted to be a mom, but I’d kind of held off, and I know not everyone has the privilege of holding off to be a mom. But Will and I, we just wanted to wait to have our family until we’d been married for five years. And then I also knew I was going to have to probably make a hard decision with my career because I knew the way that I had been so hooked up working 60+ hours a week, that just wasn’t sustainable for the type of mom that I wanted to be. And so I accept this lateral job within the company that was supposed to bring a lot of success via launching pad, but I found myself like most of us have experience. Just a situation that was not uplifting was not a situation… just more or less that allowed me to show up as myself at work.
And so I kind of hit this moment where I’m like, “Man, I thought I was stepping into a situation where I’d finally found my purpose,” and figured out pretty quickly that my purpose was… or at least I was in some suffering that led me to realize that my purpose was much more than climbing the corporate ladder and was much more than just motherhood in itself. It was a purpose that did it pause, a purpose that was just showing up and loving God and loving people where he had placed me. And it was not connected to my circumstances because, my circumstances, I didn’t necessarily have control of changing, but I couldn’t change how I showed up. And so that was kind of where my journey started with taking that leap into the role and finding out about Remy Claire.
Sarah Taylor:
To have a career advance like that is a Fortune One company, the top of the top, is that what that is?
Hope Reagan Harris:
I guess so. Yeah.
Sarah Taylor:
I guess so.
Hope Reagan Harris:
You could put it that way. Yeah.
Sarah Taylor:
I think for a lot of mid-20s, that’s got some hefty bragging rights. You can really find your identity in that if you’re not careful. Did you ever have that moment where it stung a little bit to think that you were going to have to put that on pause, or take a lateral move, or eventually make a complete change, or did that flow naturally for you without the identity part?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my gosh, the identity part’s huge. So I’ll kind of give the full story. So I started writing Purposes Doesn’t Pause when I actually was in another situation at Walmart that I was making me question my purpose. So I had a senior leader just essentially, we had a reorg, which happens at most big companies, and I started dotted-lining to a new leader, and he didn’t see the value of my skill set. I was in a finance role, and I’m not a finance person, I’m a PR person, but I was there to play that communication-type role within that organization since that’s not necessarily all of those people’s skill sets, but he didn’t understand why I was there because it was a finance role. So anyways, that’s when I started. And so that was the first lateral that I took. I had just came off a huge career high where an SVP told me, “If you automate your role in the roles on your team and upskill your associates, you’ll get a promotion.”
I did all of that in less than a year. It was faster than they thought, and they were like, “You’re too green, you need to take another lateral.” So I took another lateral. That’s when the confusion started. And then I took the next lateral we just talked about and found out I was pregnant, and then that’s when an even more difficult situation happened. And so I felt like for three years, the Lord really, really, really had to take the luster out of what you’re saying. Take the shine out of the titles, the status, the pay, and just really help me understand who I was because who he was. So the first hiccup really pushed me into understanding God more and actually reading my Bible. I’d gone to church, but actually reading and understanding who he was, and then as the trials just continuously happened, it just really beat that you are not your title, you are not your status.
And it’s funny. It was the more and more I climbed, and the more and more money I made. It was almost like the less and less fulfilled that I was. But like you’re saying, Sarah, I mean, I had what the American dream would they tell you to go and do. And as soon as I finally felt like I had really caught it, it was just like, “There’s more to life than this. What is the point?” And then I got diagnosed after my daughter was born with postpartum depression. But looking back, I had been depressed really for the three years leading up to that because it was the identity. It was like everything that I had been praised for and all the accolades that I had received with climbing that ladder. I just use that as kind of an analogy. But as I was climbing that ladder, I mean, that was so exhilarating and so awesome until it wasn’t.
And then it was just so depressing, and it was… Basically, in order to be happy, I had to take a step back to what the world said was what you’re supposed to do. And I found on the other side of taking the step backward, to your point, taking the step off that ladder, that God can use a step back to actually set us up to live the abundant life that he has for us. And so I no longer live like Hope Harris, senior manager II of Walmart. I now live as Hope Harris, child of God, on a mission for him, but that was hard.
And I remember actually shortly after making that jump, putting in my notice to Walmart, being in the airport in Northwest Arkansas going to record my audiobook, and it was shareholders week at Walmart, and I always played a pretty big role at shareholders. I was driving associates around. It was kind of a special thing to get invited to. I always got invited to it, and I was in the airport when they were on the intercom welcoming people for coming into town for shareholders. And it really hit me. It’s being not a part of that anymore. That’s not my identity. And I even found myself in Sam’s Club a few weeks later. Someone asked what I did and struck up a conversation with my husband, and I was like, “Well, I used to work for Walmart, but now I work for the Bible app.” And after I had a conversation with Will, and I’m like, “Why do I feel the need to tell them that I used to work for Walmart?” But it’s because in this area, specifically working for Walmart, is a status thing.
And so I’ve worked for YouVersion now for six months, and the holistic health that they offer me and just the pastoral care has really allowed me to let go of that identity. But yes, you really hit the nail on the head when you brought that one up.
Sarah Taylor:
Well, I think because it’s common to all of us, right?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Right.
Sarah Taylor:
I have yet to meet a person that hasn’t been tempted to hook their identity to something that has a status symbol attached to it. And so I just had a feeling that you might not be the only anomaly. You said a thing that makes me curious. You said, yes, you were diagnosed with postpartum depression. I want to talk about that some more because you and I have that in common. But you also say that turns out, you almost said it in hindsight that you were depressed for three years. The way that you stated it makes it seem almost like you may not even been aware during those three years that you were depressed.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah, I think I’d wrestled with the idea at times of I think I’m depressed. This is… I’m questioning it a lot if there’s more to life than this. But I don’t think it really hit me to your point that I was depressed. And then, when I actually went in after…
So after Remy was born, I was on maternity leave obviously, and for the first time ever, Sarah, I had just finished up the edits for Purpose Doesn’t Pause. So while I was pregnant in this toxic situation, I was writing a book. So I was working anywhere from 60 to 80 hours a week, and then all of a sudden Remy’s born. I literally went into work that day, found out at my appointment over lunch that I needed to be induced that night, my blood pressure was high. So anyways, that was a crazy thing in itself, but it was like all of a sudden my life went from finishing up my book, working crazy to get the book done, working in this very demanding job, to having a baby. You’re a mom, and all of your work responsibilities have paused.
And I had time for the first time ever, Sarah, to be like, well, one, that does kind of happen with postpartum. So I had the support of my doctors asking me, “How are you feeling?” I had the check-in where I didn’t necessarily have before. And yeah, it just hit me. I looked at the symptoms one day, and as I checked off my symptoms, I’m like, “I’ve had…” This isn’t just a postpartum thing. It might be heightened because of postpartum, but this has been going on for a while. And I just ignored them to keep going. I didn’t have time to slow down. I didn’t think to take care of myself. And that high capacity kicked in, and I just smushed my emotions down and just kept going. And I didn’t want to admit nothing was okay because, from the outside, it looked okay. I had an awesome job. I was making a lot of money. I had a book, what more could I want? I kind of felt guilty for being depressed.
Sarah Taylor:
That’s the first piece of shame that comes with depression, postpartum, or otherwise. It’s, “I shouldn’t feel this way because…” And then you go, “I’m thankful. I’m thankful for all these things.” They’re both true at the same time. You’re thankful, but at the same time, something’s not right. Would you list some of the symptoms? Get specific. What did you experience?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah. No, of course. I just experienced this. It’s funny because my name is Hope, but basically hopelessness. It was like I was in a tunnel, and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I knew it was there because of my faith. I knew God was my light at the end of the tunnel, but it it’s just like, do is what I could explain it as if just like, “Oh, my gosh, it’s never ending. I’ve got to continue going. I’m exhausted. I’m burnt out to the point that I don’t even enjoy grabbing a cup of coffee. I don’t even enjoy taking a nice, relaxing bath. I don’t even enjoy encouraging other people. I’m just acting like a machine.” And I would say another thing for me was a lot of anxiety, a lot of feeling like I was needing to please everyone, and a lot of just trying to walk on eggshells and even creating these narratives that weren’t even true.
So essentially, if I thought I made someone upset, my thoughts would just spiral, and I would create this narrative of just craziness. It just didn’t even make sense. And then a lot of anxiety, I would say, just a lot of constantly worrying and not being able to get out of the trap, basically.
Sarah Taylor:
Who loved you through that? Who supported you through it?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah. So I would say, Will, my husband, first of all. He was the one daring, the postpartum piece that was like… And I was getting a little bit angry with postpartum. I didn’t necessarily get that with the three years before, but I was getting almost so anxious that I was getting agitated easily, which is not me at all. And I think that was the first red sign or red flag where my husband, Will, was like, “Hope, you are not okay.” And it was great.
He went to all the appointments with me, so he knew this could happen. And so he knew to look for it, and he was like, “You’re not okay. This is not you.” “Either you’re calling your doctor, or I’m calling your doctor,” is literally what he said. And so I’m like, “Okay, that’s going to be kind of weird.” My husband, they’re going to think something’s really wrong if Will’s calling them. So I was like, “I’ll just call and tell I need some help and got an appointment.” But he loved me through it really well. And literally, Sarah, within a day of taking the medicine, I don’t know if it was just placebo effect, but it calmed my thoughts down so much to the point that I’m like, I didn’t even realize how many racing thoughts I had because I’d never experienced just a brain that could be present. It was just life-changing.
I will say that my mother-in-law and my mom were also really encouraging of just like, “Hey, this is great that you’re taking this step, and I’m so proud of you.” So it was really nice. And then I’ve been pretty vocal about it on my Instagram as well and talked a lot about it. And I mean, I’m continuously getting messages of, “Thank you for sharing that. I struggled with it too, and it’s so nice knowing that it’s not just a me thing.”
Sarah Taylor:
So good. I’m so grateful that you had that team of support. I’m so thankful that you found a medication that helped you and that you didn’t have to just white-knuckle your way through for any longer. Anything else you want to say about that? For someone that’s listening that either wants to know how to best support a loved one through this or if they’re looking for help themselves, what else would you say?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah. I would say from a support perspective, if you’re really close to the person, just understanding it’s not anything that you are doing to cause them to feel this way. Because I always kind of felt bad of Will, knowing he has a depressed wife. What is that… Does he think that I’m not happy in the marriage or whatever? So just know it’s nothing with you. It’s probably literally a chemical-hormonal imbalance, and that’s great. And I would say if you’re close to someone, just keep encouraging them like, “Hey, it’s not a big deal to be on medicine if that’s what you need.” Or I heard the other day, you can ask people, “How can I help you? How can I hear you, and how can I love you?” And so just asking them what that looks like because it may just be that they want to vent to you and listen, or maybe they want to use you almost as talk therapy and get your advice, but they may not. So just asking, that’s huge.
And then I would say, for someone who’s questioning if they have it, if you’re questioning… I’m not saying you do, but I would say love yourself enough to just go in and talk to a doctor about it because it doesn’t hurt anything. At the end of the day, they may just be like, “Hey, I think you’re good, or, “hey, I think with some nutritional help, we can fix this.” But I think it’s not selfish to actually take the time to go and do that because you can truly show up in a way that you just literally cannot show up right now, and that’s okay. And that’s okay to admit that. There’s no shame with that. There’s no guilt with that.
And I think you’ll be surprised of the support that’s going to come alongside you when you just… Everyone knows you need help, not in a bad way, but everyone knows that you’re in a place where you’re overwhelmed and you are drowning. And so I think people will be so supportive when they see that you’re taking that step for yourself. And I really believe that God is going to move in ways you wouldn’t believe if you were told through a diagnosis, if that’s what you have.
Sarah Taylor:
Well, thank you for your advocacy for it. Thank you for being so transparent-
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Sarah Taylor:
… with your experience. Okay, so your daughter is one, and six months ago you made another career shift. Tell me how that one came about to be part of the YouVersion Bible app, which if you’re hearing us say YouVersion and you’re like, “What is that?” I would say most likely if you have a Bible app on your phone, this is what you have. You just could not [inaudible 00:29:35]-
Hope Reagan Harris:
You feel like classic one. Yeah.
Sarah Taylor:
Yes. And by classic, you know the stats better than I do, so hit me with the stats on how many downloads users, all of that.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my gosh, it is wild. So we’re over, I believe 700 million installs, and there’s actually been a new app that we’ve endeavored and went on out on a limb for this year, and it’s Bible App Lite. And it is actually in most countries, like in Africa and other third-world countries across the world, ranking above TikTok in the app store. And so there’s just huge momentum and movement, not just in YouVersion, the Bible app, but what we’re calling Bible App Lite, which allows people that don’t have smartphones to actually download the Bible and use it when they don’t have the internet or the Wi-Fi that we have here in the States.
And so, Sarah, I can actually not even give you an updated number because it is growing so rapidly of… Actually, on Sunday, we had the highest active users in a single day, and it was wild. And yesterday we had the highest engagement on our verse of the day, which was Isaiah 40:31. And so we’re just seeing the Holy Spirit move right now through YouVersion.
Sarah Taylor:
I should be able to do this from memory. I know that reference. Is that something about soaring on wings with eagles?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Okay.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes, yes. And God restoring you, yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Yeah. What is it? What is it? I should know this.
Hope Reagan Harris:
I know.
Sarah Taylor:
Do I need to cure… I’m like, let me open my Bible app. Run and not be weary, walk and not faint. Obviously, I need to enable my push notifications on the YouVersion app again.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah. So it starts with Isaiah 40:29. “He gives strengths to the weary, increases the power of the weak, even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.” And so yeah, the community loved that one.
Sarah Taylor:
The highest ever. In the whole history of the Bible app, and this just happened this week.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes. On yesterday, actually. Yeah. And Sunday was our highest day of actually having people in the app and engaged in the app. So God’s doing a wild thing. The trajectory of how it’s growing is… I mean, I can’t even put it to words. It’s really crazy to be a part of this team.
Sarah Taylor:
Yeah. So next time you are scrolling and you see too much negativity in your news feed, just remember that God’s kingdom is alive and active. You just have to have eyes to see it, because this should be front-page news. This should be the first thing that everybody sees on the news feed is that you just hit this level of people reading that truth and starting their day with it.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah, I know. And it’s nowhere to be found only, or a team talks about it internally, so I know.
Sarah Taylor:
Wow, wow. Tell me more about how this opportunity for you to work there came about.
Hope Reagan Harris:
So it actually came from a door that I thought I was eschewing for slam in my face. So long story short, before maternity leave, I actually applied for a job within the company, and it was going to get me kind of out of this situation because I had moved around the company a lot. It was like, “Hey, if you’re in a situation that’s not great, you can easily just transition to apartments.”
Sarah Taylor:
You’re still talking about Walmart, no?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes, yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Okay.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes. So I was like, “Okay, I’m just going to apply for another job, and I’m going to pray to God that if I’m supposed to be there, that the door will open. And if I’m not, the door will just slam shut.” So I go on maternity leave. I applied for this role and had the interview around Thanksgiving. Remy was born in January, just for reference.
And so I hadn’t heard about the job, and I go on that leave. And all of a sudden, one day, I get a text from a peer, I think it was March 13th or something. I only know because talking about this in my next book. And I get a text saying, “Hey, Hope, the hiring manager told me you applied for this job. She really wants me to apply for this job and recommended that you give me interview advice.” And I’m like, “Okay, not a great sign,” but also I can give her interview advice. What is that going to hurt? So I take a day to kind of think about it and end up responding with interview advice. Well, long story short, you know what happens.
About a week later passes and she texts me and is like, “Hey, Hope, I know you’re on maternity leave, and it’s going to be announced, but since you’re out of office, I just want to let you know I got the job.” I’m like, “Oh, great. Okay, Lord, I asked you to slam the door shut, but I didn’t really think you were going to slam the door shut.”
Sarah, I gave everything to Walmart, everything. I gave my whole self. I mean, it was one of those moments where I’m like, “Man, it was kind of the final step of that identity thing.” It was like, “God, perhaps…” Perhaps God is calling me out and have perhaps for the last three years this thing that I’ve been wrestling with. He was preparing me to just be so disenchanted with it that I could step away, because if it had been three years earlier, there was no way I could have stepped away from it at that time. So I cried a lot. I was really upset. It felt like a slap in the face. I mean, I was like, “Man, I had been at the same level.”
I had taken three laterals. I had lead teeth, large teams. I mean, I didn’t understand how I wasn’t qualified or chosen for that job. I knew the hiring manager actually knew everyone randomly from the interview panel. It just felt like it was going to work out. So I did what the only thing I knew, and it was… I called Will one day, and I was like, “Will, sometimes God only gives you the next step because the whole path would be too overwhelming.”
And so I called Will, and I was like, “Look, I am going to put in my notice when my two weeks is up. I’m going to do what I know God’s calling me to do, which is to quit Walmart.” And he was like, “You know what? I’ve seen you have a successful side hustle. I’ve seen you get book deals. I know that you’re going to land on your feet, babe.” And I’m like, “Okay.” Then I’m freak out. It’s like, “Okay, am I going to start speaking? How am I going to make some money?” And we even decided, “Okay, if nothing else panned out, we would just refinance our house.” Because we gotten in at a pretty high payment because I was working at Walmart. He has a corporate job too. We could afford that. And so we were like, “Okay, we have all these backup plans.”
And so fast-forward, about a week passed, and I was really striving. I was trying to get speaking engagements. I was getting ghosted. I was trying to think of business ideas. I was just spinning my wheels. It was clear that I was forcing a door to open that wasn’t supposed to open. So I just prayed, and I was like, “God, I know that you can meet me where I’m at.” And I had a good friend tell me, “Hope, all of this was God’s idea.” Remy being born right now was God’s idea. We actually got pregnant the very first month we tried. This was all very much so God’s idea. And he knew about this, Hope. He knew you weren’t going to get the job. He knew you were going to have a baby. He knew you were going to be struggling mentally. He knew this all.”
And so I referenced the story of Samuel and David in my prayer, and I was like, “Lord…” Just for those that need a refresher like I do most of the time, Samuel was a prophet. King Saul was reigning as raining as king. And his heart really wasn’t aligned with how the Lord wanted him to be aligned. And so God had sent Samuel to find and anoint the next king of Israel. And so Samuel actually found David. He went to David’s dad, Jesse. Jesse put every single son in front of Samuel except David. Jesse was like, “Dude, this is not it. None of these guys. Do you have any more sons?” And he is like, “Actually, yes. He’s out tending the sheep.” So Samuel literally was like, “Bring him in.” And then as soon as he saw David, he was like, “Rise and anoint him. That’s the one.”
And so I prayed that prayer to God. I was like, “God, send someone… Just like you said, ‘Samuel will find David, send someone to find me. I’m so done striving. I’m placing this in your hands.” And literally, Sarah, I can’t even make this up. So the next morning… That prayer was the afternoon before. I checked my email in the kitchen and making some coffee, probably holding Remy. I don’t really remember exactly. And I checked my email that afternoon. The prior afternoon, I had gotten an email from someone that I had connected with the E-version three years prior. And the email title was Visiting Rogers. So he came to find me, met me at my favorite coffee shop. You cannot make this stuff up, and yeah. So the rest is history.
I’m in a remote job now that, three years before, they said could not be remote, and that’s just how God works. And so once again, it was not easy, though, Sarah, to take that step because it came with a significant pay cut. I don’t even want to tell you how much it was. That’s irrelevant. And it’s crazy because what I at first saw as a sacrifice. Of all the sacrifices I was making, I now see as six months into this. I’m like, “That’s where I was at, and that’s okay.” But now I’m like, “That was actually never a sacrifice because it was never mine to begin with. That money that I gave up was not my money to give up. My skill set… It’s all been so transferable.”
And so anyways, yeah, it’s been a whirlwind. And I had Ben, who met me at Rogers at the coffee shop, who emailed me. We had connected back in COVID, and I was wrestling with am I supposed to be at Walmart or not. And he came from a retail background as well. And so he had just kind of been a call, like a person that I had stayed in connection with over the three years. And so, it was really crazy. There was no agenda for the meeting. And I dressed up in a little peak blazer, but I had holes in my jeans just in case it wasn’t an interview, but also in case it was an interview. So I was trying to play it cool. And yeah, I mean, it turned into us just chatting.
And, Sarah, he said something to me in that moment that’s actually in this next book that I’m writing on Omo, but then it follows, kind of, Purpose Doesn’t Pause. But I wrote this. He said, “You know, Hope,” and I talked about this in the beginning. “If you’re on the wrong ladder, there’s never a better time to step off than now.” And I felt like in that moment that was really God speaking to me of like, “I’m not going to take that experience from you, Hope. It’s still on your resume, but the things that used to fill your heart are not going to be the same things.”
And I even talked about a Purpose Doesn’t Pause. The things that fill a resume, they don’t quite fill up your heart the same way. And I felt like that’s what God’s really delivered me from is identity, being in things that are not of his kingdom and more of this world.
Sarah Taylor:
I love how you phrase that. That He delivered you from those things.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yeah-
Sarah Taylor:
And it’s-
Hope Reagan Harris:
… which is funny because… Yeah.
Sarah Taylor:
It’s out of His love that He does that. And it feels sometimes… Actually, I would say oftentimes it does feel like a sacrifice, or a downgrade, or something at first. There’s resistance, and then there’s so much beauty on the other side, which you’re currently seeing in your internal meetings at YouVersion. What are you excited about in 2024 with YouVersion?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my gosh, so many things. But the main thing is as I’m thinking about new enhancements for the app that are related to Generosity and inviting other people part of our mission, I’m just so excited to offer more opportunities. So aside from just donating to YouVersion, I’m excited to offer up ways people can volunteer alongside us or ways people can specifically pray alongside us. And just developing just really a community feel around this is so much bigger than just us opening up the app and reading our Bible. So I’m really, really excited just to see what God’s going to do and who is going to join us and partner with us in this ministry that He’s blessed us with, because we truly believe that this is all His. And we just are blessed enough to get to sit in the different roles that we sit in at YouVersion.
Sarah Taylor:
Well, as you can tell by now, it’s impossible to listen to hope, speak, and not be inspired, and-
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, you’re so sweet.
Sarah Taylor:
We will link to the YouVersion app in the show notes. We’re also going to link to Purpose Doesn’t Pause, the book. As well as you said, you’re in the middle of working on a nonprofit. You want to give us a little teaser around that?
Hope Reagan Harris:
Oh, my gosh, yes. So if people follow me on Instagram, you can click the link in my bio and actually join. It’s a free Facebook community right now, but I have a team of girls who are actually helping me and working for me for free. These girls are… God’s supplying all these resources. And I was telling one of the girls today, it’s like the more He ask of me, actually, the less I do, and the more people he brings to do it with me.
So a teaser is I’ve got three girls working on this. Currently, Purpose Doesn’t Pause is an incorporation, but I’m waiting for it to go through the IRS for official tax exemption status. But in the meantime, we are pouring into those ladies in the Facebook group, which is free. And if you follow along on Instagram, you’ll be the first to know. But really, just envision this community being equipping you holistically to be the hands and feet of Jesus. So think spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, so resources to equip you. And then, from there, there’s going to be opportunities for you to multiply that and serve other nonprofits, specifically women in sex trafficking and prison. So really excited about where this is going to go.
Sarah Taylor:
We’re excited to be along and be able to share the word on it. We’ll link up to everything, Hope-
Hope Reagan Harris:
Thanks [inaudible 00:43:38].
Sarah Taylor:
… just mentioned in the show notes. Hope, thank you so much. My best to you.
Hope Reagan Harris:
Yes, thank you. Same to you. Keep on going.
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