Today I want to talk about something very tender, really tough, which is when some of our kids go rogue. What I mean by that is when our kids are making decisions that, from a moral standpoint, from an ethical standpoint, are so far from our Christian ethic, from our Christian standpoint, that it is heartbreaking to us. It is so hard to know what to do in that circumstance. Let’s look at someone who spent his entire career in ministry and had challenges of his own with his kids… Samuel.
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Transcription:
Guest Speaker: Julie Lyles Carr
It’s what I call going rogue. This is the Bible for Busy People. I’m Julie Lyles Carr. I’m filling in for Erica this week, and we’ve been taking a look at what it means to truly release our kids who are going into those late teenage, early adult stages, to truly entrust them to God, release them to God so that they can pursue what their relationship with God will look like, not just the one that we have hoped to convey on them. And today I want to talk about something very tender, really tough, which is when some of our kids go rogue. Now, what do I mean about going rogue? What I mean by going rogue is when our kids are making decisions that from a moral standpoint, from an ethical standpoint, are so far from our Christian ethic, from our Christian standpoint, that it is heartbreaking to us. It is so hard to know what to do in that circumstance. I look at someone who had spent his entire career in ministry, and the challenge he had with his kids. This comes from the book of First Samuel chapter two, starting in verse 12,
Eli’s,
Who was the priest,
sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the Lord. Now it was the practice of the priests that, whenever any of the people offered a sacrifice, the priest’s servant would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand while the meat was being boiled and would plunge the fork into the pan or kettle or caldron or pot. Whatever the fork brought up the priest would take for himself. This is how they treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh. But even before the fat was burned, the priest’s servant would come and say to the person who was sacrificing, “Give the priest some meat to roast; he won’t accept boiled meat from you, but only raw.” If the person said to him, “Let the fat be burned first, and then take whatever you want,” the servant would answer, “No, hand it over now; if you don’t, I’ll take it by force.” This sin of the young men
The sons of the priest, Eli.
was very great in the Lord’s sight for they were treating the Lord’s offering with contempt. But Samuel ,
Who had come to live with the priest, Eli as a child, but Samuel was
before the Lord—a boy wearing a linen ephod. Each year his mother made him a little robe and took it to him when she went up with her husband to offer the annual sacrifice. Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, “May the Lord give you children by this woman to take the place of the one she prayed for and gave to[c] the Lord.” Then they would go home. And the Lord was gracious to Hannah; she gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord. Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting. So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. No, my sons; the report I hear spreading among the Lord’s people is not good. If one person sins against another, God[d] may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the Lord, who will intercede for them?” His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke
What I see in this passage that really speaks to me, is here is Eli, the priest. He’s raised these boys in full view of what he does. What his responsibilities are, is someone whose whole life is dedicated to God, and yet his son still have no regard for the Lord. They don’t honor the sacrifice God has made. And for us today, the sacrifice God has made is his son Jesus. When we have circumstances in which our children have no regard for the Lord, for that which is precious to God, it can be incredibly heartbreaking. What I also want you to see here though, is that Samuel is also being raised in Eli’s household. Now, if I’m Hannah, this has got to make me nervous. I’m turning over my child to this priest who’s had very bad luck with his own kids, and yet here I’m bringing Samuel to him to also be raised by him. I would have to be thinking, is this even a great idea at all, even though it’s what I promised? But here’s the grace and mercy of God. Yes, here are these two sons who are not doing right, but here is a child that Eli’s mentoring and guidance actually brings him up to be one of the most amazing prophets that Israel ever had.
Now, in that I want to say that it doesn’t dismiss the sins of Eli’s sons. It’s heart heartbreaking. You don’t have to hold back from what you know is right and appropriate, particularly when that child comes into your home. You are not going to have say in what your child chooses to do in their adult life, but when they come to your home, and this is the place where Eli had a hard time holding the line… His home was the house of God. He lived in service to God, and yet his sons were doing things within that house that did not align with the preciousness of the Lord’s offering.
I want to encourage you to be loving with your kids even when they’re doing things that are not in keeping with what God would have them do. Pray for them. Don’t preach at ’em. Keep the conversation going. Let them know how much you love them, and when it comes to what happens in your home, don’t hold back from saying, you are welcome to come to our home. We love for you to visit. We want you to feel welcome here, and we have to honor first the lifestyle choices we believe God has for us. So we are respectfully asking that if you want to stay with us, great. Here’s what that means. Or if we need to help you get a hotel, we are happy to do that. The reason that I say I think it’s important to hold fast to what happens within your home is there can be a loving conversation with your children about the boundary you will hold for what it means for you to serve God. You’re not putting it on them. They have an invitation. You want to be hospitable, but you’re saying, this is the line in this home. This is how we operate. Those are choices that you will have to make within the context of your family and in prayer with God. But what I hope you hear in all of this is that in the love, in the prayer, in the acceptance, in all of the things you still have for your child, to be tenacious and holding fast to what you know God has called you to do. So, if you have a child who’s gone rogue, first of all, know that you are loved. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself. If you have regrets, pray about those. If there are places you feel like you do have culpability, confess that and ask for God’s grace. Never give up praying for your child. And you can walk out your faith with appropriate boundaries, with appropriate lines for saying, I’m still going to walk in accordance to what God has asked of me while fully loving you, while continuing to pray for you, while continuing our conversation. You have my support and my love, and I’m living in the house of the Lord and this is what it requires of me. I hope this has been of help. I hope it’s been handled tenderly enough. Tomorrow we’re going to talk about leaving room. I hope you’ll join me for our last episode in this series on the Bible for Busy People.
Thank you so much for listening to the Bible for Busy People. If you need prayer or you’re ready to go a little deeper in your faith, we’ve posted some resources for you in our show notes. We’d love for you to share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review. It helps us reach even more people with the hope of Jesus. This podcast is part of Purposely, a podcast network designed with practical podcasts to help you find and live in God’s purpose for your life. Find more podcasts that will recharge you at onpurposely.com.
