Emily Hutchinson, cookbook author and TV cookie competition judge, shares her journey of life after losing her daughter, and how she found solace in baking. Even in times of disappointment and heartbreak, you can trust in God’s timing. He has great plans for you, where your dreams can come true.
Special thanks to Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission for sponsoring the Passion Meets Purpose Podcast.
Show Notes:
Find Emily: Online | Instagram | Facebook | X | Pinterest
- Cookbook: Creative Cookie Decorating
- Cookbook: Creative Cookie Decorating for Everyone
Transcription:
Emily Hutchinson:
Oh my gosh. I was like, “Okay, God wants me to do this,” and I’m like, “I am so not prepared for this,” and I just kept praying. This is so crazy that I’m sitting in the studio right now, because I was in the car after I got that email and I was full of self-doubt, and I was like, “How am I supposed to do this?” I heard on the radio Spirit 105.3 say, “God doesn’t call on the qualified, he qualifies the called.” I was like, “Okay, God is telling me, Emily, I am equipping. You can do this.”
Sarah Taylor:
Welcome to the Passion Meets Purpose podcast. My name is Sarah Taylor. This is where we discuss the things that you are naturally good at, your gifts, your talents, your abilities, and then how do you put those on display for the rest of the world. Let’s jump in with today’s guest. Her name is Emily Hutchinson, and you’re in for a pun intended sweet conversation today. Emily, I’m so glad to have you here. Would you do me a favor, just for our audience that may not have found your cookbook or your shows yet, give me an introduction a little bit about who you are, where you’re from. Go ahead.
Emily Hutchinson:
I am so honored to be here, Sarah. First of all, yes, my name is Emily Hutchinson and I am a cookbook author. I am a TV cookie competition judge with Hallmark Channel and I have my own little mini-series on an app called Great American Community, and it’s with Great American Pure Flix. It’s called The Sweet Life with Emily, where I share lots of recipes and tips and tricks to bake your life easier.
Sarah Taylor:
To bake your life easier, this is so good. Well, Emily, there’s so much depth to your story. I think for anyone that just sees the outside, it’s like, “Wow, has life always been sweet and perfect and she just bakes her little heart away in the kitchen,” and yet your story has so much depth that the joy that you have today comes from a place of the Lord really rescuing you out of some of the most difficult circumstances. Do you want to start at the beginning? In fact, can I kind of guide you in that? Start where you found your love for baking. Take me back to little girl Emily.
Emily Hutchinson:
Okay. I am going to do that. If I can, for just a moment, I’m going to start with some scripture that was put on my heart for just this moment. It is Psalm 34:8 and it’s, “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” I’m going to put that in my apron pocket and then I’ll bring it back out in a minute. My story goes back a long time ago when I was five years old in the kitchen with my grandma baking. My grandma was so wonderful and she was such a good teacher. She loved to bake. She taught me how to measure. She taught me how … we started baking pies and breads. It wasn’t just box mix, it was legit baking with my grandma. She planted those seeds in my heart and it was just, I felt so amazing when I was baking with her and I knew it was a gift that I had and it came really naturally.
My mom even would put bowls, like bowls of flour and sugar and measuring cups so I could measure stuff and make my own things when I was five. I kept baking over the years with my grandma and so much that my family was like, “What’s Emily bringing for Thanksgiving?” It was a really wonderful thing that I just felt so special doing. Then sadly, we lost my grandma from cancer when I was 12, excuse me, and it was so devastating for me. She was my baking buddy, and so baking kind of took a temporary back burner. But I didn’t stop baking. It was still, I love that I had it in my heart that I did on holidays and things like that. It just wasn’t like an everyday thing. I grew into an adulthood and I had two wonderful, amazing, beautiful children within a relationship that didn’t end up working out, and then I met my now husband Mike.
We fell in love and we wanted to have a baby to solidify our family, and so we got pregnant with our daughter, Jennifer Louise Hutchinson. She was born on October 31, and she was the most perfect and beautiful little baby girl. She was so easy, I was like, “This is a trick baby,” because some babies cry a lot and some are hard, and she was just so easy. We’re going to fast forward to January 2009, my oldest daughter and I went into her room to wake her up like we always did and I knew right away that something was wrong. I scooped her up and I ran into the kitchen and I screamed for my husband Mike, and he shot out of the room and I laid her down and I started doing CPR chest compressions.
My Nick and Reese, they were little, three and six at the time, and I told them, “Go back to your rooms. Go back to your rooms.” I was just focused on CPR with Jenny, and I started bargaining with God as I was doing those chest compressions. I would’ve considered myself a Christian at the time. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, but we would go to church on Christmas and Easter, excuse me, and me and my sisters would walk to the vacation Bible school over the summer, so I knew who Jesus was. I knew how to pray and I knew who to pray to and I just was begging, “Please Lord, I’ll do anything you want me to do if you don’t take her from me, just please don’t take my daughter.”
In that moment, I remember specifically breathing air into her and I started doing the chest compressions and I heard this breath exhale out of her lungs and I was like, “Oh my gosh!” I was so, I felt like hope. I looked up at my husband and he looked at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen and I was like, “Why is he looking at me like that?” It had dawned on me that I was pressing my own air out of her. That’s when the despair sunk in, and that’s when I came to the realization that my daughter died. The paramedics came in and despite their best efforts, we lost our daughter that day.
With that happening, I lost my daughter. My husband lost his daughter, my parents lost their granddaughter, my children lost their sister, and my sisters lost their niece and they were about to lose me too. I was so broken after I lost her, and I was so desperate to have her back that I got pregnant right away. We got pregnant with our son, Mikey, and he is 14 now and he’s incredible, such a wonderful light for Jesus. With all these good things happening to me, I still felt a hole in my heart and I still felt broken. It was like I was alive, but I was not living and I was just floating through life. I felt really dead inside. I kind of masked that and I started drinking and my husband was drinking, and we were just in the pit of despair really, really deep.
Friends of ours noticed how bad we were struggling, and they invited us to church and we accepted the invitation. We went to the Grove Church in Marysville. That day, Pastor Nick was speaking, and I don’t even remember what he was speaking on, but it spoke to me in a way that I felt the Holy Spirit. I’d never felt the Holy Spirit my whole entire life. It wasn’t like the chills you get when you’re excited. It was a different feeling that I had never experienced before. I knew it was just amazing and I stopped drinking, my husband stopped drinking, and it was like a miracle. We started giving back to the community. Our church does this outreach, the Grove does iHeart every summer, and so they’d go and they clean up schools, and we started to find a purpose for our pain.
When you start to find a purpose for your pain, that really fuels you. For the first time, I had felt hope that I had never felt before since losing her. I was like, “Man, I feel great.” I dusted off my measuring cups and I got back into the kitchen and I started baking and I started decorating buttercream frosted sugar cookies. I actually made the very first buttercream frosted cookie tutorial on Instagram that went viral. This was before anyone was even making the cookie videos or really making baking videos. Over the years, I started building this incredible platform and this wonderful community of support, and people loved my work, and they were like, “Oh, it’s so beautiful. You’re so talented wonderful.”
But it wasn’t it for me. I was like, “There’s got to be something more.” I knew God wanted me to share my story on a larger scale, so I was like, “How can I do that?” I created my blog and it’s The Hutch Oven, and I shared my story in it, and I remember specifically running my story by some people in my life and someone said, “Are you sure you want to go full Jesus?” I sat there for a minute and I was like, I didn’t even hesitate, I was like, “Yes,” because my story is nothing without him. My story is full Jesus. They were like, “Yep, I support you a hundred percent do it.” I shared my story and I had so many people reach out to me and say, “You know what? I’m going through this and I heard your story. I literally packed up my children and went down to church that next Sunday.” Or, “I am struggling with this and I heard your story and I know I can get through this. If you lost your daughter and you’re still alive and living, I can do this.”
That gave me so much purpose, I was like, “Oh my gosh! This is what God has for me.” I kept praying and I kept praying, “God, show me what to do, God. Make this bigger for me. We can shine a light on you, God. Show me what to do.” A week later, I get an email from this lady from a woman’s blogger conference, and she was like, “I read your story and your platform is amazing, I would love for you to come on and share your story,” and I was like, “Ha, ha, ha. No, I’m kind of scared to do that. I hadn’t spoken in front of women before. I hadn’t been on TV yet. I hadn’t done podcasts. I was like, “I am not equipped to do this. I can’t do this.”
I was like, “Ah, I’m going to say no,” and even though God was telling me to go this way, I went the other way, and that haunted me. I was like, “Lord, I am so sorry. I know that was for me. If you give me something, I’ll do it. I will do it.” I’m not even kidding, Sarah. A week later, and I say a week later and it’s like, really? But this is when you know it’s God. A week later, I’m in Safeway and I’m at the deli aisle with my husband, and I opened my emails, I didn’t even know why I opened my emails. It was an email from Hallmark’s Home and Family and the producer said, “We love your work. We’d love to have you on the show,” and I was like, “Oh my gosh.” I was like, “Okay, God wants me to do this,” and I’m like, “I am so not prepared for this.” I just kept praying.
This is so crazy that I’m sitting in the studio right now because I was in the car after I got that email and I was full of self-doubt and I was like, “How am I supposed to do this?” I heard on the radio, Spirit 105.3 say, “God doesn’t call in the qualified, he qualifies the called.” I was like, “Okay, God is telling me, Emily, I am equipping you. You can do this.” I went on Hallmark’s Home & Family, and I shared my story. It was the most beautiful moment because I was able to share on national television, but I also created these relationships with the host, Debbie Matenopoulos, and it was a different host at the time, but then it happened to be Cameron Mathison after that.
Sharing my story and being there with them and connecting with them has made amazing relationships that are really strong for me today and my career. It’s just so incredible, the blessings that God has given me through that. Then, after Home & Family, I wrote a beloved best-selling cookbook, Creative Cookie Decorating, and then I wrote another one that’s Creative Cookie Decorating for Everyone. You’re going to love this, Sarah, because it has gluten-free and dairy-free recipes. It’s really for everyone to bake memories. Also, the cool thing that God has also done for me is he had me travel around the country teaching people how to decorate cookies. I’ve taught Rachel Ray, I’ve taught Candace Nelson, the founder of Sprinkles, I’ve taught Lacey Chabert, I taught Lance Bass. I even shared my story on Lance Bass’ podcast. He was so wonderful.
Someone’s story is so powerful because you’re not preaching to anyone. You’re literally just sharing what God has walked you through and what God has delivered you from and what he has made you be today. It’s really cool too because I also get to teach classes with Williams Sonoma, so I get to kind of teach kids classes too and plug myself in there with the kids and stuff. My cookies have been on cover of magazines. It’s just wild what God can do with cookies. Like I said before, I have a series on the Great American Community app, The Sweet Life with Emily, and it’s really, really special to me. With all that, I want to go back to the scripture that I talked about in the beginning.
Psalms 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” I want to repeat that because I think it’s such a beautiful way for me to look at my life because I have tasted and seen literally God’s goodness in my life. I’ve also have a career that I’ve had to take refuge in him with. I’ve had to pray a lot. I’ve shed a lot of tears. I’ve had a lot of doors shut. I’ve had a lot of noes, but I also had God with me, and I’ve been praying through all my decisions. When one door closes, my gosh, God opens another and it’s so cool to be a part of. I’m in a season right now where I’m making some moves in my career, Sarah, and I feel really underqualified. I have that self-doubt creeping back in, and I have those thoughts of, “Okay, I know God is telling me to do something and it’s a little different. It’s kind of the same thing I’m doing, but a little different in a little different way, and it stretched me farther than I’ve ever been stretched.”
There’s been times where I’m like, “Maybe I shouldn’t do this. Maybe it’s too hard.” I kid you not, for the first time in years, I see all popping up all over the place on Instagram, on Facebook through people’s words, “God doesn’t call on the qualified. He qualifies the called.” That’s why I pray through everything that I do, because I know that no matter what path I’m on, if it’s God’s path, it’s the right path.
Speaking of the right path, a way that is really helpful for me to stay on that path is reading my Bible. I read my Bible a lot because, especially this time in our world, when everything is so, my life is out there and everyone can say whatever they want to anyone, and so I want to know what God says about me. I want to listen to his words, and so I read the Bible. It’s like we’re all in God’s oven baking. Some of us are baking at different temperatures, some of us are baking at different times, some of us are rising quicker than others, some of us have sprinkles, some of us have chocolate chips. A good baker is going to follow a recipe to get a precise result. As a believer, we need to follow the Bible so God can show us who he has created us to be in that oven. Again, that brings me back to taste and see that the Lord is good.
Sarah Taylor:
We’re going to be right back to it with our guest. But first, I want to thank Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission for sponsoring this podcast. I had the pleasure of going and attending their women’s graduation ceremony, it was literally life-changing, I felt like I’d just gone to church. The way that these women supported each other, the hugs, the shouting out of the graduates from the audience going, “That’s my sister. You got this.” The vulnerability, the transparency, and the program that Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission puts on.
Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission started over 90 years ago by serving soup to homeless and unemployed people during the Great Depression. Today, they’ve grown to operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They provide 360 degree care to thousands of our homeless neighbors throughout the greater Seattle area. They’re motivated by faith and hope just like you. They want everyone to know that no matter their circumstances, they are loved and cared for by Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission and by God. Their approach is highly relational.
A lot of individuals come to their shelters, but they also have teams that go out in the search and rescue vans. It’s lasting change. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes patience. There’s no quick, easy fixes, but the change is possible, and if you want to find out how you can get involved, take action right now at ugm.org/takeaction. We’ll also link you up in the show notes, there’s plenty of ways to volunteer, so be inspired, volunteer, and give at ugm.org. I love that he even speaks to you in baking analogies. That’s so precious to me, right? That’s your love language. It’s what he talks to you in.
Emily Hutchinson:
Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Yeah. That you see that as well.
Emily Hutchinson:
Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that testimony with us. Take me back, for the person listening, take me back to … well, let’s talk a little bit about how you honor Jenny’s legacy and how the Lord continues to meet you in that pain.
Emily Hutchinson:
Yeah. Actually, Sarah, this last year, she would’ve been 16. This last Halloween was the first milestone that I’ve walked through that was really, really, really painful for me. I tell you, I’m so close with Jesus that sometimes I get a little upset and we talk through it and I cry. I think that it’s okay to get your feelings out and to cry and to grieve when we need to grieve and mourn when we need to mourn so God can help collect those pieces and he can help put it back together, because it makes me so much stronger when I can lean on him no matter what I’m going through, and to be able to even just be here and share about Jenny and offer people hope, that gives me so much healing, and the fact that it is offering healing to other people, that for me is my sole purpose.
It really is. That is the reason why I do the Hutch Oven, because Sarah, I was a misfit. I was the one that people counted out and look at what God has done. I really believe that my purpose is to show people like, “Hey, you’re not counted out. Hey, if you have a dream, if God’s put something on your heart, even if it was 20 years ago, follow that, honor that, see what that could be, and you never know what God’s going to do with it.” God is so faithful and he’s so good. Even when I look back to that day when I was bargaining for Jenny’s life, I was like, “God, I will follow you for the rest of my days if you give her back to me.” He didn’t, he said no, and it was the hardest no that any mother could ever have in her whole life. Even with that, no, he saved me and I’m following him anyways.
Sarah Taylor:
Another part of your story that I love is, it’s not like a one and done situation. You had that opportunity and you felt like you were supposed to say yes, but you chickened out, and so you prayed through it and you asked the Lord again. You said, “Hey, pretty sure I missed that one.”
Emily Hutchinson:
Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
“I see what you’re doing there. If it’s you, bring it again.”
Emily Hutchinson:
Yes. Lord, show me and boy did He, didn’t he? I have been faithful to everything that God has asked me to do since because he is so good and I want to honor that, and so wherever he puts me, I’m like, “All right, Lord, we’re doing this.”
Sarah Taylor:
Yeah, second and third and fourth chances and fifth chances.
Emily Hutchinson:
Yes.
Sarah Taylor:
Yeah.
Emily Hutchinson:
His grace, that’s the best part about it, is God’s grace is so good, and it’s like the grace we give to our children. God gives that to us, and it’s just such a beautiful relationship.
Sarah Taylor:
Anything else you would say to the person that has been listening and they think that they missed their opportunity? They’re too old, they don’t have the capital, they don’t have the drive. They’ve got that inkling, “Is that really the Lord? Is that really what he’s calling me to?” Take me deep into some of the prayers that you pray when you’re trying to discern if you should say yes or no to a certain opportunity?
Emily Hutchinson:
Yes. I always start, no matter what prayer it is I’m praying, I start by thanking God for whatever opportunity he’s presented to me and ask him, “God, is this from the Lord? Is this from you?” He always shows me. I always find peace, and if I have an unsure feeling and I pray about that, God reveals that to me. I will feel like a panic maybe and be like, “Okay, this isn’t for me.” I’ve had meetings with people that maybe didn’t align with my beliefs and wanted me to maybe not share about Jesus or even want me to stay where I’m at and just do brand partnerships and stuff, and I’m like, “Well, I believe that God has something more for me.” I really believe that God has pressed that on my heart, so when I pray and I’m like, “God, show me what you want me to do.” He always does, but I always, Sarah, I always, when I’m talking to God, I always just say, “Jesus, I trust you.”
Sarah Taylor:
I love that.
Emily Hutchinson:
If you’re giving me an unsure feeling, I trust you.
Sarah Taylor:
I love that.
Emily Hutchinson:
If you’re giving me a good feeling, I trust you. I believe that God has anointed me with those feelings and those little tingly senses of saying, “No, this is not right for you. We’re going to hold off for something.” I’ve been holding off for things for years because of that. I think that the hardest part is, as a Christian is waiting, and especially if you have a dream in your heart that you want to happen and you want to see come to fruition right now, sometimes God’s taken a little bit longer, and it might be because you have to work out some kink somewhere, or it might be because he’s stopping you from trouble ahead or he’s preparing you for more. Even with the disappointment and even with the heartbreak of the closed door, I still say, “Lord, I trust you.”
Sarah Taylor:
So good.
Emily Hutchinson:
“Thank you, Jesus. I trust you.” The disappointments are hard, but after the tears go and you stand back up and you put your armor of God back on, you’re like, “You know what? God’s going to steamroll me through whatever obstacle he wants me to, and if he needs me to hang back for a little bit, I’m going to trust him.”
Sarah Taylor:
Oh, I love this. I love this so much. Do you ever write your prayers down?
Emily Hutchinson:
You know what? I used to write my prayers down, and now I’m so inspired to start writing them down again, because I think that’s such a beautiful thing to look back and reflect on the prayers we prayed and what’s been answered. I have little bullet points of notes of things that God has done and incredible things or prayers that I’ve seen my kids get answered or my husband’s been answered, and so I have those, but the specific prayers and that connection with God, I think it would be really beautiful to go back and just reflect on that.
Sarah Taylor:
Yeah, I just ask that simply because I forget. I forget all the times that he’s shown up faithful and just some mentors in my own life say that that’s been a game changer for them to write it down and to see.
Emily Hutchinson:
Well, I love that. I’m going to take that, Sarah, because I think that’s so beautiful. I love that.
Sarah Taylor:
Maybe someday one of your next books is like a per journal book.
Emily Hutchinson:
Oh, wouldn’t that be beautiful? You know what’s so cool? Is that in my cookbooks, there’s scripture sprinkled throughout. You know what? The crazy thing is, is I’ve had people buy my books and say, “They’re wonderful, beautiful, great recipes, but I returned it because of the scripture.” You know what? I’m okay with that because I’m okay with the ones that say, “Holy moly, I didn’t realize the price that you paid, and I’m so inspired and I can do anything by reading your story.” Those moments are way more important than the ones that are like, “You know?” I’m like, “That’s okay. Maybe it’s not for everyone, but maybe you’re planting a seed. You never know.”
Sarah Taylor:
How do you know the Lord more after having your worst nightmare become a reality? How do you know the character of God more than you didn’t before?
Emily Hutchinson:
I have such a pure, this is going to get me choked up a little bit. I have such a pure relationship with Jesus because I have suffered so much and everything I went through, and every suffer, every tear, he has carried. He has been there through it all, even before I knew him, he was there. My aunt had been praying for me my whole life, and I believe that her prayers were part of the reason why I got saved. Prayers are so important. My relationship with Jesus is so strong. I have such a strong faith that no matter what I go through, I know, I know I’m going to be okay. I know, at the end of the day, listen, we’re preparing for the kingdom of heaven. I get to be with Jenny one day.
Just holding on to that hope that she’s sitting with Jesus right now and she’s so proud and she’s protecting me and my family and God’s got us. One day I’m going to be sitting up there with her and I’m going to be able to share and talk about all of this. She already knows, right? I just think that that is what makes such a beautiful relationship that I have with Jesus is that I really do trust him, and I really do think he’s good even through everything that we went through.
Sarah Taylor:
I can’t wait to someday hear when I meet Jenny as well, how many other people arrived in heaven and knew her through your story, the ripple effect of her life and her legacy.
Emily Hutchinson:
Oh my gosh, Sarah. I cannot believe you’re saying the ripple effect right now. I have friends even on social media that are not Jesus followers that call it the Jenny Ripple. I have friends that are starting to read the Bible, starting to read Jesus calling app, and they’re like, “Emily, tell us more. Tell us about this relationship.” It’s such a beautiful thing, it is a ripple. I have chills all over that you said that. That is so amazing.
Sarah Taylor:
I’m so glad, yeah. You steward her story very beautifully and your vulnerability is your deepest connection point with anybody listening. If you’re listening, and if this touches you deeply and you want to get ahold of Emily, we’re going to link up to her social media and her blog and all the different ways that you can contact her in the show notes below. Do you have any final parting thoughts?
Emily Hutchinson:
You know what? Just cling to the Lord and go back to that scripture, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” That’s what I want to leave you guys with because all of his goodness and all of his grace, just take refuge in him and you will be blessed. No matter what you’re going through, there is hope is in the name of Jesus, and the most beautiful thing is, is that he died for us, so that we could be in heaven and have this relationship with him while we’re here on Earth. If you’re struggling, if you have things, especially with the holidays coming up, it’s really hard. I would say open your Bible and I would say start talking to Jesus and see what happens.
Sarah Taylor:
Thanks so much for being here today on the Passion Meets Purpose Podcast. We’re going to talk again in two weeks, but in the meantime, if you want to do us a huge favor, obviously, you know this by now. If you leave a review, it really helps others to find this podcast. It also helps us to make it better, and then you can contact us anytime at Purposely podcasts. Until next time, thank you.
